25 Pieces of Trainer Wisdom

I would like to share 25 pieces of wisdom I have gained over my time as a trainer. As we celebrate the amazing 25 years that Training for Results has been in business, it is a good time to look back on what I’ve learnt. A phrase which is too often used in the media is ‘Lessons have been learnt’. What I have learnt is that wisdom is about then applying that learning. Learning is knowing that a tomato is a fruit, wisdom is not putting it in your fruit salad!

1. Henry Ford said ‘If you think you can or you think you can’t, you’ll be absolutely right’. It is about having a positive can-do attitude. It would have been so easy not to set up my own training business.
2. You need to be realistic about what you can truly achieve. Having a ‘Bob the Builder’ syndrome (‘can you do this? – yes I can’) is great, but can lead to over committing. There is a balance.
   
3. Getting delegate participation is vital for successful training and has been the backbone of all we do. My sincere thanks go to the Agricultural Training Board (now Lantra) for giving me the superb introduction to Participative and Instructional Training Techniques.
   
4. Every group of delegates has a different dynamic, which is what fascinated and motivated me to get involved in training originally. You need to be aware, manage and adapt to those dynamics.
5. Steven Covey’s ‘7 Habits of Highly Effective People’ was a hugely influential book for my personal and business growth. It taught me that it is about inside out development. Change has to come from within.
6. Sharpening the saw is the seventh habit and I realised that I needed to constantly update my own knowledge and lead by example. As a trainer and coach, I never stop learning. Each participant teaches me something new. My latest learning has been cartooning.

7. Integrity is everything. Values are vitally important and determine the relationship and culture at work and at home. You have to be true to who you are. Our ethos from the start has been that training is about gaining results. If you are thinking or doing exactly the same after the training as you were before, what is the purpose of that training? At Training for Results, we are proud of our values of Personalised, Partnership and Enthusiasm.
8. Networking is about building relationships; not finding business. When we moved the business to Dorset, it was invaluable. We have met some wonderful people and friends.
9. If you don’t like the outcome you are getting, you can choose to change your response. Another of Steven Covey’s ideas is that we have a choice between what life throws at us (stimulus) and our response to it. Stimulus plus response equals outcome. This is what taking responsibility is truly about.
10. We don’t see ourselves as others see us. Self awareness is a key leadership skill. During a Lantra assertiveness course, I became aware that I was aggressive in many cases. Since then I have a worked on being more assertive.
11. Profiling is a useful way to improve self awareness. We use a number of profiles and taken part in others. The Judgement Index is very powerful and has helped me appreciate how people make decisions. It also dramatically highlighted how judgement can alter when you are stressed.

12. When you are pointing the finger of blame, remember there are three pointing back at you! Thank you Daniel Gibbs for this gem. Linked to this is ‘There is no difficult trainee, just a difficult trainer!’ This was an insight from a Trainers Networking Group in Northampton, which changed my mindset to working with delegates.
13. Setting expectations is critical. Professor Julie Hay first taught me the concept of contracting. Experience has since shown me that setting expectations is vital in every aspect of work and personal relationships. Most issues arise from unmet expectations.
14. Listening is the most important communication skill and perhaps the least used! Too often we are told to listen rather than being taught to listen. There are different levels of listening from ignoring, passive, attentive through to true active listening.  You have two ears and one mouth, use them in that proportion!
15. Communication is a game of tennis not a game of golf.  It is amazing how many people monopolise a conversation without realising it. (Myself included, although I hope I am improving.)
16. The power of coaching. Since gaining my diploma in business performance coaching, I am astounded at how powerful it is. This tool can bring insight and help people reach a greater potential. I have seen people, who were being considered for dismissal, change and become highly effective employees. This was not the power of me the coach, but the power of the individual to have insight and make that change.
17. Use the strengths of your team. When Ken joined me in the business in 2006, he brought very different strengths and experience, which complimented mine. Together we make a stronger team. It can lead to some interesting conversations though!!
18. Keeping information in your head is not an option.  Moving from being a sole trader to working with others made me realise the amount of information I kept in my head.  It needs to be communicated and to not assume others know it.
19. Delegation is one of the hardest management skills. Many business owners and managers find effective delegation a difficult thing to do. Done well, it frees you up to work on the business rather than in it. It is a key aspect of succession planning.
20. Developmental transactional analysis is a valuable way to understand why we behave the way we do and how it influences the way we communicate. My sincere thanks to Lynda Tongue, Triangle Partnership, for my 101 training in this and the supervision she has given me since. I have brought this into our training and it has often had a significant influence on delegates’ insights and subsequent behaviours.

21. There is no health without mental health. Through my personal experiences and our work with the Phoenix Legacy, the importance of mental health and its impact on our lives has become very apparent. Stress can so easily affect this and managers have an important role to play. With one in four people coping with mental health issues, I want to do more. That is why I have developed Play on Your Mind and the Thinking Leadership series.
22. Leading volunteers requires different skills. My work with founding and leading the Phoenix Legacy taught me so much about the variety of leadership styles. It has proved invaluable for the other delegates to have people who work in the voluntary sector on our courses.

23. Creativity needs nurturing. My thanks to Edward de Bono for his work on lateral and parallel thinking, which we use. Also thanks to Tony Buzan for the tool of mind mapping and for speaking at the Mind Your Head conference in 2012. I believe too little time is given to developing creativity and innovation in businesses. Over the years, I have also seen how managers’ behaviours can crush creativity in their teams.
24. SCARF is a concept that has come out of neuroscience and the development of neuroleadership. The five traits that the human brain desires are: Status, Certainty, Autonomy, Relationship and Fairness. My thanks to David Rock for his ability to translate the latest scientific findings into a pragmatic language of leadership.

25. How incredible people are. Training for Results could not have succeeded without the support and generous spirit of others. It has been a pleasure working with all our clients and delegates

Also published on Medium.